Kaigari Kleptomaniac
On the Streets of Damascus
On this particular morning the younger brother appeared on the balcony and shouted down to the potato peddler: “Are those potatoes firm?” The vendor only turned around quickly and called back up with a bitter smile: “I’m not selling. I’m just out for a walk.”
“Outrageous. These people whine about not having any business and then it turns out they’re just out for a walk!” The millionaire waxed indignant.
“Once burned, twice shy,” thought Salim, and he, too, smiled bitterly. Indeed, the peddler knew the brothers all too well. Only a newcomer would have been taken in by that polite question. The minute he pushed his cart up to their door, both brothers would throw themselves on his wares, and an hour later the peddler would be exhausted and all his vegetables nibbled and gnawed. The brothers’ surefire methods guaranteed that both would come away from the transaction with full stomachs. First, they would munch on something, then say in a horrified tone: “Now see here, do you think we’re that dumb? You can’t charge a whole lira for this half-eaten head of lettuce!” Nor were they above devouring unwashed cauliflower, lettuce leaves, or carrots.
***
I have never seen anyone prosecuted for shoplifting in all my time working in supermarkets.
On the Streets of Chennai
The veggie vendor never stopped his bullock cart if she was the only one calling out to him.
Oh, he heard her alright, but he knew her ways only too well. She’d snip the tips of okra, pinch every brinjal, and taste the carrots. Half the cart would be bruised before a sale was made. This seller who prided himself on the quality of his goods could not take it — the desecration of the cart’s bounty with her pinching and snipping. He could not condone the stealing.
Once when there was a quorum, he accused her openly. This is why he never stopped for her summons.
“She’s not bad, just… thorough,” said one mami, diplomatically. The rest simply averted their eyes and pretended to be temporarily deaf as well. The vendor shook was unmoved.
There: I described the event from memory. It is mere description, it doesn’t reach beyond itself, beyond the concrete reality of that situation.